Life, Liberty, and the Search for Family

As a gay man, I can state that I have had a desire for a family of like-minded people that accept me. I obviously did not find this in my family of origin. I have spent my time since leaving home trying to find places that filled this void.

It is the acceptance that I crave. I have searched for the acceptance in the United States Marine Corps, leather clubs, and in Master/slave relationships. I have found that I do not want people that necessarily think like me because that does not allow me to change and grow (USMC). I do not want to be forced to play like other people because that does not allow me learn new things (leather clubs).

I don’t think that I am alone in this need for acceptance and family. Of the men that I play with as a Dominant or submissive, at least 80% allow this drive to enter into their play with other men. In my little family of three, we have a puppy that is striving hard to become a member. It is a conversation with the puppy that has brought about this blog post. He asked me what family means to me.

Family, for me, is a group of men that love you for who you are and not for what you can do for them. These men are intensely loyal. They are focused on the physical and emotional welfare of their brothers.

As in all relationships, our leather families have their issues. This does not mean that the idea is flawed. It just means that we must strive to meet our ideals. There is who we seek to be and who we are. As long as the family realizes that both exist, it can weather any storm.

So, as the holidays are upon us, I recommend that you reach out to those you consider family and let them know how you feel. Look past the problems you may have had and strive to tighten those bonds.