Spanking

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What are Leathermen looking for?

I honestly hear this question many times. I hear it from people that are new to the community and trying to find their place in it. I hear it from men that have been in the community for forty or fifty years and are looking to start a new relationship. Everyone seems to want to know where they fit.

First off I have to say, I am speaking as a forty-six year old, gay, leather man. The leather community is full of so much more but I speak about what I know and live. Just because I do not speak about the leather women, the leather transsexuals, does not mean that I am not accepting of them. It just means that I am writing about my experiences. I welcome any other leather groups that would be interested in sharing their experiences. Please send me a message at 285528@gmail.com and we will make it happen.

The most important thing that I can say about the leather community is that we are people of radical sexuality. Our thoughts, ideas, choices, and priorities are not that of the mainstream. If it became part of the mainstream, it would probably not be sexually satisfying for me. We are people that are on the fringe or frontier of what is acceptable to the general public.

As a group of leathermen, I do see us gravitate towards some things. We are drawn toward things that sexually excite us. That is humiliation, sadism, masochism, pain, loss of control, giving of control, and intense play. We also seem to be drawn together to form our own family units. These family units are as diverse as the leathermen that inhabit them.  These families can have as few as two partners to as many as ten (I do not know how they made it work but they did). As gay leathermen, we tend to have strained relationships with our families of origins and seek out others to make us whole.

As a community, we tend to become parts of groups that share our feelings, political views, and play philosophies. I can say for myself, that I have been drawn to groups that put an emphasis on Integrity, Honor, Family, and Good Play. We are not perfect. Each one of us daily fails in some of these areas. What is important to me is the journey of striving toward these goals.

I have started this blog to discuss those things that I find as important to the BDSM community. I will obviously draw on my personal experiences. I hope to have others that make this journey share their insight also.