We have a tradition here in Texas, USA that says whatever you are doing at midnight on New Year's Eve is something you will do for the majority of the new year. Here are some of my favorite pictures to give you an idea of what to do.
Honor, Loyalty, and Family
A blog about Honor, Loyalty, and Family in the contexct of the leather community, the BDSM community and the community at large.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Happy 2013!
We have a tradition here in Texas, USA that says whatever you are doing at midnight on New Year's Eve is something you will do for the majority of the new year. Here are some of my favorite pictures to give you an idea of what to do.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Life, Liberty, and the Search for Family
As
a gay man, I can state that I have had a desire for a family of like-minded
people that accept me. I obviously did not find this in my family of origin. I
have spent my time since leaving home trying to find places that filled this
void.
It
is the acceptance that I crave. I have searched for the acceptance in the
United States Marine Corps, leather clubs, and in Master/slave relationships. I
have found that I do not want people that necessarily think like me because
that does not allow me to change and grow (USMC). I do not want to be forced to
play like other people because that does not allow me learn new things (leather
clubs).
I
don’t think that I am alone in this need for acceptance and family. Of the men
that I play with as a Dominant or submissive, at least 80% allow this drive to
enter into their play with other men. In my little family of three, we have a
puppy that is striving hard to become a member. It is a conversation with the
puppy that has brought about this blog post. He asked me what family means to
me.
Family,
for me, is a group of men that love you for who you are and not for what you
can do for them. These men are intensely loyal. They are focused on the
physical and emotional welfare of their brothers.
As
in all relationships, our leather families have their issues. This does not
mean that the idea is flawed. It just means that we must strive to meet our
ideals. There is who we seek to be and who we are. As long as the family realizes
that both exist, it can weather any storm.
So,
as the holidays are upon us, I recommend that you reach out to those you
consider family and let them know how you feel. Look past the problems you may
have had and strive to tighten those bonds.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thanksgiving
The holiday was a lot fun. While I was lounging around after
a huge meal, friends began to send pictures that might interest me. I found
some that interested me and I am going to share them. Enjoy.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Playing with a Dead Fish
Hopefully your reaction was “EEEWWWW”. That was what I wanted. In this post, I am going to discuss an issue that comes up a lot in BDSM play. The issue is a submissive that tries to not show pain.
I have to admit that I was guilty of this when I first came
out in leather. My thinking was that I was proving my manhood but not
responding. Unfortunately, it could not be farther from the truth.
Let’s face it; most men were raised to not show pain. “Big
boys don’t cry,” was heard in my family a lot. When I joined the Marine Corps,
we were told that pain is weakness leaving the body. When a politician cries on
National television, people question his manhood and his ability to lead. It is
understandable that when men submissives start out in the BDSM community, the
might true to suffer through the pain.
There are a few Tops out there that do enjoy when a boy does
that. They don’t resemble most Tops but that is what they like. As a Top, I am
aggravated by a submissive that does this with me. I mentor them and try to
explain why most Tops do not like a submissive to be stoic. The reason I
dislike it is that it takes away the reason I Top. I am turned on by the grunts
and groans of a boy I am putting through his paces. I am also able to gauge
where the submissive is on the pain scale. It also helps me to know if he is
enjoying it.
In the cause of transparency, I have to say that I was
guilty of this for a few years as a submissive. I finally had a Top, one of the
four Tops, tell me that it was annoying him. He told me that if he gave me
three licks and I didn’t respond to any of them then that would be the last
time we played. He was not asking for me to fake it like some actors in leather
porn. He wanted real, personal reactions to what he was doing to me. I realized
that I hated it when submissives did it to me but I was doing the same to those
men that top me.
If you are one of the men that fight the pain, decide if it
is getting you what you want. If not, change. I can say for myself that giving
that feedback has made my play more enjoyable and has allowed me to take things
I would have thought impossible.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Trying to Keep it Together
Sorry for the disappearance lately. My leather family is in crisis at the moment and I am just trying to keep the family together. It strains my ability to be Dominant to my two boys and it shakes my confidence.
Our canine puppy is having problems. He is an eight year old
beagle. He has developed abscesses in one side of his jaw. The left side of his
jaw has swollen to the size of a grapefruit. We have been giving him
painkillers and antibiotics to help. We
have taken him to the local veterinarian and they have agreed to do the
surgery. They gave us a bill for the deposit and we both had a heart attack.
Our family is just barely getting by. One boy lost his job
and is doing his best to find another. My retirement supports just me barely.
My second boy is working as hard as he can to keep us afloat. The truth of the
matter is that we are not able to afford the $649.00 deposit. We have some
great friends who have helped out and we are half way to raising the money. If
you can help, it would be deeply appreciated, if you can’t, please keep Mugsy
in your thoughts.
Donations are being accepted at http://www.gofundme.com/1c4ato?pc=fb_cr&ref=nf .
I know this is a depressive entry, so I am going to add some
interesting human puppy pictures to make it a little more palatable. Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
What are Leathermen looking for?
I honestly hear this question many times. I hear it from
people that are new to the community and trying to find their place in it. I
hear it from men that have been in the community for forty or fifty years and
are looking to start a new relationship. Everyone seems to want to know where
they fit.
First off I have to say, I am speaking as a forty-six year
old, gay, leather man. The leather community is full of so much more but I
speak about what I know and live. Just because I do not speak about the leather
women, the leather transsexuals, does not mean that I am not accepting of them.
It just means that I am writing about my experiences. I welcome any other
leather groups that would be interested in sharing their experiences. Please
send me a message at 285528@gmail.com and
we will make it happen.
The most important thing that I can say about the leather
community is that we are people of radical sexuality. Our thoughts, ideas,
choices, and priorities are not that of the mainstream. If it became part of
the mainstream, it would probably not be sexually satisfying for me. We are
people that are on the fringe or frontier of what is acceptable to the general
public.
As a group of leathermen, I do see us gravitate towards some
things. We are drawn toward things that sexually excite us. That is
humiliation, sadism, masochism, pain, loss of control, giving of control, and intense
play. We also seem to be drawn together to form our own family units. These
family units are as diverse as the leathermen that inhabit them. These families can have as few as two
partners to as many as ten (I do not know how they made it work but they did).
As gay leathermen, we tend to have strained relationships with our families of
origins and seek out others to make us whole.
As a community, we tend to become parts of groups that share
our feelings, political views, and play philosophies. I can say for myself,
that I have been drawn to groups that put an emphasis on Integrity, Honor,
Family, and Good Play. We are not perfect. Each one of us daily fails in some
of these areas. What is important to me is the journey of striving toward these
goals.
I have started this blog to discuss those things that I find
as important to the BDSM community. I will obviously draw on my personal
experiences. I hope to have others that make this journey share their insight
also.
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